So lets dive into my little world and find out some more about me…

I HAVE A SOLUTION!
When you are in a rough situation, say “Dam it!” from a new phrase based off of an unruly river needing a dam. This situation you are in or the noun in reference is unruly, so it is an association of an unruly river, and thus this association is referring to a Dam which is anything but Damnation…TA-DA…no longer a curse phrase. That is right, you read it here first. With this new form of thinking, I’m sure we can come up with new ways to uncurse certain phrases and forever break them of their evil powers .

Even after this thorough disclosure of the facts to my wife which truly state that I am not cursing, I am still in trouble . I guess I could just change and stop saying it, but perhaps changing the whole worlds perspective of the phrase may be a little easier

Sorry I have not written in such a long time. I assure you that blogging is something I am still very interested in and passionate about. This was not just a temporary thing for me. I will be back to posting daily as soon as all of these extremely time consuming projects are over. I was only even able to blog this because the Family and I went away for the weekend. So I can work a little less. I still miss the community very much and hope all of you are doing well!

I’m Freaking Jones’n!
Wow, you start twitching a little bit when you go a little while without posting! I have just been so incredibly busy at work and at home (more work) that I just have not been able to fit in any blogging time. We have opened up a new branch at my employer, plus my company has a good sized project going. So I basically go to work, work for 9 hours, go home, and work another 3-4 after I lay down my youngest daughter. So basically looking at coding or other I.T. work for about 12-13 hours a day

So instead of you all thinking I dropped off the face of the earth, how about I just write this quick message and say “I miss you”

Thanks to my turn of fortune and me winning an iPod Nano via a contest held by PureBlogging.com, I get to try something out that I have been dying to try for a very long time. Back in August of 2006 I read a blog post on Rasmus Lerdorf’s toy page titled *”Nike+iPod Goodness”.

Rasmus Lerdorf is the original creator of PHP. A huge hero of mine, so I always keep an eye out for his posts although they are very few and far between. He also has his own type of “toys” blogging page [*toys.lerdorf.com] as well where he talks about little web apps that he likes to play with as well as fun tech stuff he buys. Definitely a great place to stop by and take a look.

At the time Rasmus posted about Nike+, I had never even heard about it. To sum it up quickly, its basically a very advanced pedometer. It comes in 2 pieces, an expansion for your iPod Nano and a sensor for your shoe. It tracks how far and fast you walk or run and how many calories you have burned. The sensor sends data to the expansion piece connected to your iPod Nano and the iPod Nano stores the data. All this while you are listening to your favorite songs while running around. The next time you dock your iPod it can download all that data and of which you can choose to upload it to the Nike+ Website. There you can store and track your runs as well as set goals for yourself. Rasmus even wrote a php script that processed the data so he could keep track of his runs as well and display it on his toys page. Rasmus went into a lot of detail in his first post about it, so I highly suggest checking it out if you are interested. He later blogged in January saying that he had completed *”100 runs” for a total of 620 miles and burned off a total of 80,000 calories! He basically said that he went from a 205lb fat slow geek to a 175lb slow geek. Whether it was just from the running or whatever else, that is an impressive weight loss in just 5 months!

It is important that if you decide to invest into one of these as well, be sure to not get suckered into the Nike+ shoes. You do not have to have the Nike+ shoes in order to use this. There are plenty of cases out there designed to weave the sensor through your laces and have no loss of proper sensing. The Nike+ shoe puts the sensor in the sole of the shoe, but a pair of these can run you $100! Unless you have the money to spend for the cool looking shoes, just go with the sensor case.

So David Culpepper of PureBlogging.com sent me a couple emails yesterday and today showing me that my new iPod Nano will be arriving tomorrow. I can’t wait to play with my new toy and I am really excited to try out this Nike+, after all, I’m a fat slow geek

[*note: Rasmus' website is down for whatever reason at the time of this post, however these are normally valid links. I really really hope that he has not decided to stop his personal site!].

PureBlogging.com recently held a blog review contest and my name (via a number) was randomly chosen as the winner! I am so excited about this! I’m usually not a very vain person, so if I ever buy something for myself that is nice, chances are it took months to years to save up for. I have wanted an iPod Nano for a very long time, so to win one, means so much! Its really kind of funny, at the time I wrote the review for PureBlogging, I was doing it free of charge to basically anybody that asked. David stopped by my MyBlogLog page to let me know that he was running a little contest. I jumped at the chance because it was a nice little side item on what I would have done for him anyway.

I really like this contest that David setup & I am very glad that he contacted me about it. Not just because I won, but because it helped me find his site. I think his posts are always valid and worthy content, so it is definitely in my google reader. You can tell I am truly hooked to a blogging site when I subscribe to the comments feed as well, and yes, I have subscribed to that too on David’s site. What I really like most is David did not just use this contest for linkbait, but he also took in the suggestions given to him in the reviews. He already redesigned his logo and changed his tag phrase. These are 2 things that I suggested to him in my review. He took in what we all wrote and acted upon it, that is really something! I feel like I’m on top of the world right now with this turn of luck and I have truly been honored to receive this prize so…

A New Honorary Blogroll Inductee…
In the face of danger, all he did was laugh. He showed his bravery by starting a contest where the risk was high. For this great feat of courage and honor bestowed upon me, I knight’th thou’th Sir David “PureBlogging” Culpepper of Mississippi. I honor you with this David, not because you prized me with an iPod, but because you have shown great honor. I am humbled by this great act, no matter who would of won. A permanent link on my site is all I can do to say Thank You!

My Honorary Blogroll is just that, a thing of honor. It is the way I can honor my readers and community with the greatest thing possible, a permanent linkback. I am constantly keeping my eye on all comments, actions, and linkback posts that involve this site. If I feel truly honored, than I return the favor by honoring you! Thank you all so much for stopping by!

Don’t think giving me iPods will buy you an Honorary Blogroll spot, it will not, although, you are more than welcome to try That and loads of cash will always be worth a shot…but I can not promise anything…

So as a parent, you get to say awesome things like that all the time. Over the last 2 months my youngest daughter has just become affixiated with Winnie the Pooh. So of course my Wife and I try to get a couple things for her here and there that are related to Winnie the Pooh. But I find myself saying the funniest things. I think the best one was Last night when I asked my daughter if she was “brushing her teeth with Pooh”? We purchased a Winnie the Pooh toothbrush for her this weekend. But it doesn’t just end there, you get to say things like “Do you have Pooh on your ball?” or “Is that Pooh on your sock?”. If you figure out how to say these things at the right time, you get some really weird looks come back your way if you are out in public.

*Personal Side-note:
I really love being a Dad! I could not picture my life any different. I have a level of pride that I think could never be broken, but it only grows every day. I am just so so proud! Everything I do is always about trying to make a better life for my family and making sure that my kids have a good life. I have another little one on the way and I can’t wait!

“Uh Oh!” as my daughter would say. I was tagged to write a poem, yes thats right, me. Kelly Cho tagged me in her poetry post that was originally started by Stretsh’s meme to see how poetic bloggers are. Lets see, its been somewhere around 10+ years since I had to write a poem, so lets see if I can put something together here. This will be an original piece, and I do mean piece, by RJ “Bobs” Matthis. I definitely know I am not a poet, but lets see if I can have fun with this anyway

The PHP Tree…

From your roots that were planted by Rasmus Lerdorf
To your expanding branches fed by Coder’s hard work
Oh why do people refuse to use strtotime()?
The correct function for the job makes your app sublime

Using substr() I can return chosen partial strings
Or I will start a while() loop that returns many things
Always use a switch() statement if options are many
Too many elseif() statements will drag you down plenty

Filter the input and always escape output if User Entry
Security is most important, not just complementary
Preventing MySQL injections is a very important thing!
So always be sure to use mysql_real_escape_string()

My PHP Tree, how beautiful are your functions
Since finding you I have never felt any compunction
Using your objects & functions makes me a happy fellow
Oh PHP, you have had me ever since typing echo()

by RJ “Bobs” Matthis

So thats it, that is my poem. Basically the logicalness you would expect from a programmer, you’re just lucky I didn’t throw in some binary chains (010101010101) in there somehow. So if you are interested in sharing your poetic spirit, I would like to tag the following 3 people: Saman, 2Perfect, & Melanie

What or Who the heck is that?:
I was feeling like posting a real personal post. Something that helps you all dive into my personal world and is not just about Tips, Tricks, Comments, or Nonsense. So I wanted to let you all know about a tight group of friends I have.

Saman, myself, and a few of our friends refer to ourselves as the “Goldeneye Dogs”. Its just a name we gave ourselves many years ago. The 5 of us were constantly getting together to have Nintendo 64 Goldeneye sessions that would last pretty much the majority of the entire day. Every party, get together, pretty much anything always involved the Nintendo 64 and the video game Goldeneye. Its funny that a simple thing like a video game could impact and strengthen friendships as it did. This simple game helped create a “bond” that will last our entire lives.

The friendships are much older, but I think it was sometime around 1998 when we first called ourselves the Goldeneye Dogs. Of course it didn’t just come with a group title, we each had our own nicknames. Straight out of Reservoir Dogs of course. Saman is Mr. Brown. I am Mr. Blonde. Theo is Mr. White. Kyle is Mr. Pink. And Matt is Mr. Orange. Eventually we of course outgrew the majority of all that silliness. But it has always remained special to all of us. In fact, at my wedding, all the Dogs were my groomsmen and I had all the Dogs wear hankies with their designated color. This is why from time to time you may see Saman and I refer to each other with our nicknames in comments or posts.

Saman has recently informed me that a Half Life 2 Mod was created called Goldeneye Source. It is modeled off of the old Goldeneye video game. Completely updated and beautifully designed. When I found this out, I went and purchased a copy of Half Life 2 so I could play this mod. I will be posting a review about it soon along with a couple screenshots.

Here are a few funny pics of the Goldeneye Dogs as [kids] for you all to enjoy:

Goldeneye Dogs 1998
Holy Crap that was 9 years ago! I was just a punk kid working at Blockbuster
L to R: Brown, Blonde, Pink, Orange, White

Goldeneye Dogs 2000
This was taken at Saman’s goodbye party. He was leaving Colorado for California. Normally, you would think I accidentally transposed those, but for some reason Saman actually was going back to California – who does that? He wised up and came back.
L to R: Pink, Orange, White, Brown, Blonde

Goldeneye Dogs 2004
My Wedding. Brown was unable to attend but was there in spirit
L to R: White, Pink, Blonde, Orange, My Buddy Kory

The above top left logo image was designed by Saman to represent the Goldeneye Dogs. He did such an amazing job on the graphic. You may wonder why the logo has Saman with an afro. Maybe if you razz him enough on his site about it he will post a picture of the most beautiful afro ever grown.

A horribly tragic event occurred yesterday at Virginia Tech. An extremely troubled young man by the name of Cho Seung-Hui was the gunman in a very deadly shooting rampage that has left at least 33 people dead.

Events when so unbelievable like this one occur, everybody of course starts asking the WWWWH’s (When, Where, What, Why, How’s?). I’m not sure if you have also been hearing it on the radio and such, but when callers call in to talk to DJs, so many have been saying “Its because of Video Games”. We so want to be able to blame something other than the perpetrator. It is so hard for us to believe that a human being is capable of such acts so we always try to find what MADE THEM DO IT.

We have to stop this blaming behavior that goes off on obscure tangents. When you go off on a major tangent, you are losing sight of what is important. The families and loved ones of the poor victims. Your cause is no longer about supporting them, but rather a cause that is just about your cause. The simple fact is there are just some crazy people out in this world. I’m not saying some are not MADE crazy by events in their life. I’m just saying that crazy people do extremely crazy things.

I can guarantee that even if my Nintendo Wii started glowing with a heavenly Aura and God’s voice came out of it and told me to do things I felt were not right, than I would check myself into a treatment center, because I’m not crazy. If somebody did act on what they were told and had seen, but they knew them to be wrong, and still did them anyway, that is a crazy & troubled person. Playing Video Games does not set you up to be a bad person now or ever in live. If it did, could you imagine the chaos our world would be?

So please, instead, focus on the victims, their families, their loved ones, all involved. Please after reading this right here, put them in your thoughts and have a moment of silence for a short period of time and let your cause be them.

So you want to know what really grinds my gears?
Most Online Return Policies for Defective Items and those Copy and Paste Emails!

I purchased a stick of memory online a few months ago. The memory stick finally got to me and sure enough, it was a bad stick. I contacted the company from which I purchased the stick from – ZipZoomFly.com – and told them about the defective product. I requested that they send me a replacement stick along with a prepaid return label so I could return the defective product back to them. A few days later I received an email from someone in that organization that was just a copy and paste of their return policy, other than that no real attempt at solving my issue. It stated that returns have to be paid for by the customer, the returned product would have to go through testing, and then they would send me the replacement after they found the memory I received to be bad. I repeated my request, after all, they sold a defective item and I was not wanting to pay shipping for an item that was defective and not my fault. It wasn’t the cost of shipping, its the principles I hold dear on business transactions. You sold me a part that was claimed to be a brand new working part, thats what I bought, thats what I want, so take this back and give me what I bought from you.

Now I know I’m spoiled normally when it comes to good service, the majority of the technical buying I do is for my employer. When products are for a business rather than an everyday consumer, vendors bend at every request most of the time. “Something wrong with that part, sure thing we will get you a new one out right away, please just return the bad part with the included shipping label”. When it comes to my employer, this is what happens about 98% of the time, you are a business and a vendor does not want to lose you. But as an everyday consumer, you will see that most Online Companies treat you like dirt when it comes to defective returns.

So long story short, I just kept getting copy and paste emails back from ZipZoomFly.com. The memory stick was a Corsair memory stick and had a lifetime warranty. I decided that if I was going to pay to ship it anywhere, it would be to Corsair. I didn’t want to have any further dealings with ZipZoomFly.com period. Corsair on the other hand was great. I received constant email updates about where in the process my new and old stick were. I think there were about 5 update emails all together that I received from them. All typed out by an actual person. Now that is service and I was very grateful for that. That brightened up an overall bad experience. Oh by the way, they confirmed that the stick was bad, so I was not making it up.

The Outcome:
I will try to buy Corsair more when I can, both at home and at work, that service experience was excellent. I will never ever buy another thing from ZipZoomFly.com again. If they come in cheapest on a pricegrabber or whatever, they are not going to get any further business from me. They had the opportunity to save my business, but copy and paste emails are not the way to save a customer.

Tyler Ingram just posted this great joke called “Magic Beer” on his website! It reminded me of an old joke that I had heard before. I always loved this joke so I figured I would share it with all of you.

Superman is flying over Metropolis keeping his eyes vigilant for anything that he may be of need. Suddenly, a naked figure laying on top of a roof in a complete spread eagle position catches his eye. He has super vision after all. Then he realized that it is his girlfriend Lois Lane! He pondered this for a short minute and decided he may swoop down there, do some super fast and fun “super-action” and swoop out. He is faster than a bullet so of course Lois wouldn’t even know he was ever there.

Suddenly – a very fast wind and loud swoosh noise catches Lois’s attention and she says “What on Earth was that?”. The Invisible Man says “I have no idea but my @$$ is killing me”.

Saman tagged me from his Obsessive Thoughts post. I kind of like these posts that spread from blog to blog, but I have to admit, figuring out 5 people to tag that have not already been tagged is going to be quite hard. Also changing mine from Saman’s is kind of hard, we have a lot in common.

1. My Family – E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G to me! I wouldn’t be the man I am today without them. I work harder and longer everyday to make a better life for my family. So you could say I obsess over everything for this biggest obssession.
2. Trying To Be Funny; Even Though I’m Not – The personality I have just tries to find humor or the light side of any given situation. I usually come up with these awful jokes that take 5 seconds to tell and 10 minutes to explain why it was funny. All good moods start with a laugh.
3. PHP – Its nice when you come by something that you understand. I have been programming PHP code for many years. I enjoy being part of the Documentation team and helping out anywhere I can to push forward the PHP movement.
4. Food; Especially Mexican Food – If it was an option, I could rotate a diet of Taco Bell and Chipotle everyday. But for health reasons and to keep the weight off, I’m usually very good about only eating at 1 of these once a month. Its always very hard to decide which one out of the two. My wife hates Mexican food so I don’t get to eat it as much as I would like (you know, 8 days a week!)
5. Blogging and Participating – This is a newer one of course, but it definitely qualifies! I love participating in all the blogging communities and doing all I can to get the community booming here. It really has become an obsession and a happy one.

Okay, choosing who to tag is kind of hard, because I know most people I participate with in the community have already been tagged and/or posted theirs.

So here is my tagging list:

• Samanathon.com’s Angry Networker – I think I’m almost doing this just to piss him off. I can’t wait to see what kind of tyrannical rant he might shoot off on this subject.
• Samanathon.com’s Derek – Derek writes some quality tech articles, lets see what he has to obsess about.
• John Chow – I could be wrong, but I don’t think anybody has tagged him yet or he has not written an article about this yet. I’m guessing one is going to be expensive meals
• Everyday Weekender – was one of the first to stop by this site. Please share with us your 5.
• Armen – always has interesting comments on the sites I read. I noticed he just recently stopped by here. Consider yourself tagged!

“Its a Schooner!”

“Ha ha ha, its not a Schooner, its a Sailboat!”

“A Schooner is a Sailboat stupid head”

“You know what! THERE IS NO EASTER _ _ _ _ _! Thats just some guy in a suit!”

Don’t ever let your kids be around Willam near the holidays when he is trying to see the hidden picture.

Sorry, for whatever reason this year when I think about the Easter Bunny, I keep thinking about the one in the great movie Mallrats. The very same Easter Bunny that gets accosted in a dangerous mall, far too dangerous to host a game show in. If you have never seen the movie Mallrats, add it to your list, its great! Basically any movie by Kevin Smith needs to be on your list, the guy is a genius.

My Daughter and I created the following Easter Creations.

Obviously this was one of those Egg Kits you can buy. But my Family and I had a great time dying these eggs and setting them up to share them all with you. Have a great Easter and may all your Easter Bunnies/Gorillas/Jaguars/Salamanders be real!

If not, you better hurry!!!

Look at that – I’m pointing to my post!

So you may or may not know that I am a Winner! I won the “Samanathon Photoshop Me” contest. I know that there were at least 42,345 entries into this thing. So it is a very huge deal that I won. As you can see by following that link, my Photoshop skills just can’t be touched . So I wanted to take the opportunity to let all of the at least 43,344 people know what they missed out on.

The prize was not an ordinary Flash Drive, no, it was the “Flash Drive Robotica 9100 v3.2a”. Your legs just shivered, didn’t they? I know you have all heard about this thing and me just explaining some of its features is really pointless. I know the media coverage on this thing has just been insane, so why on earth do we need another article about it. Well I just won one, so I really want to write about it.

FEATURES:
• 1 Tetrabyte compression ratio fits itself into the 1 Gigabyte of actual space on this thing. I can back-up a good percentage of my DVD collection, right here on this thing. Think about that, 1 Tetrabyte of data stored into the normal memory of a 1 Gigabyte drive. The technology it took to make that happen has to make you wonder what else they are capable of.

• Kung Fu Action and fighting grip. With just one click of a button on this thing, 2 arms fly out of this thing and start whacking away. Saman informed me of the ability to have these wash dishes. I read up on it – sure enough! With the newest Firmware update available on their website, it did this with no problems. I even purchased the optional SpongeBob sponge. Set it up near the sink with the optional AC adapter (normally USB powered) and it is just crazy to see this thing pick up plates.

• Automobile Tune-Up and Oil Change. I know what your thinking, how in the hell does it do that? To be honest, I don’t really know. According to the manual, you are not allowed to watch while it does this. It has a viewing sensor, if you glance in its direction while it is doing that work, it stops and looks like it is in the seat right where I left it. It took a while to get this feature to work, I didn’t realize that I would need a new adapter for power, yes, a car adapter. You are supposed to just leave it in the seat and than come back in an hour.

• MotoFactorDigiwatt Digital Satelite HD. With todays micro-satellite technology we are entering into an age where the impossible is possible. The manual states that it has an auto sensing alignment utility it uses to locate the best signal possible, even when mobile. By activating this feature of the drive, I can look down the inner chamber of the male usb port and receive 343 digital HDTV channels. It creates a virtual 92″ DLP screen that corrects itself to my vision capability using some kind of retina scanner (I normally wear glasses). Even though the actual video content is microscopic inside the drive itself, it truly is exactly like watching a 92″ screen with one eye closed. If I actually have the drive plugged into the computer, I can access all the channels right on my computer screen.

OUTCOME:
My teeth are cleaner! And I get less sock lint between my toes. I don’t know how the drive accomplishes this, but it does. This thing has absolutely changed my life. Not having to do as much dishes means I can spend more time with my family. The Kung Fu Action allows my daughter and I some fun Daddy and Daughter time, I let the drive beat up all of her “girlie” toys. And the satellite HDTV, well, I always wanted one – now I have a virtual one.

The only down side to this at all is poor Saman. If he had just mentioned the fact that it was a “Flash Drive Robotica” I’m sure the entries would have entered the 6 figures rather than just 5. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to participate like crazy in any of Saman’s contests. He might claim he is giving away a toaster as the prize and thats all, he may forget to mention that it is a ToastMasterFlux 873! You know, that new toaster that bends time and space. I can’t wait till his next contest!

Related Links:
ReformatThis.com: Samanathon: Photoshop Me! Contest
Samanathon.com: Photoshop Me Contest Winner!
Samanathon.com: Contest Announcement: Photoshop Me!

* Okay, this posting is filed into Nonsense for a reason. I will let you pull out the facts from the falsehoods. I do not warrant any of this information to be true, after all, its Nonsense! I don’t even know if there is such thing as a Flash Drive Robotica or ToastMasterFlux

Saman just blogged about how he saw one of the new 2008 Dodge Chargers at the Atlanta Auto Show. I commented about how I really like how car makers are starting to go back to their “roots” and start designing cars from a classic perspective. The Ford Mustang really did this on its 40th birthday in 2005. They tried to go back to its classic design, of course Dodge followed up doing the same thing with their Charger.

So anyway, Saman’s post got me thinking about my ol’ 65 Mustang. I had to sell it before getting married to help pay off some debt, but I do miss it sometimes. It was somewhat of a money pit, but it was so great to own one of my dream cars for a short period of time. It was coded and title a 65 Mustang, but it did have a lot of parts from 64 1/2 models as well. 1965 was the first year of the Mustang, but you know how they bring out cars around a half year early? All the 1965 Mustangs sold in 1964 are considered 64 1/2 models. Just some random trivia for ya .

I swear, these days it seems like they bring out the next years model 2 years early!

Here are some pics of my ol’ Mustang ["Good Ol' Blue"]:

Yes, I am a full grown man who loves the show “SpongeBob Squarepants”. I have to admit, a few years ago I was very skeptical and never had any bit of interest of ever catching the show. But something very important happened within the last couple years. My youngest daughter was born.

If you are a parent, I’m sure you know of the pain of sitting through some of the child programming on today. My Wife and I try to keep “the Tube” on very very little. But when we do choose to turn on the tv during daytime hours, it is usually to let my youngest daughter catch one of her shows. Maybe its just me, but kids shows today just don’t match up at all to what my generation had. Perhaps it has been the outcome of too much psychology, censorship, and political correctness (walking on eggs) applied towards television programming. I don’t know, maybe it is the same today as it was then and I am now just too old for it.

Educational programming is important! But….I think creative programming has to play a huge role too. We still occasionally throw on the Disney Channel for some of their educational programming or throw in a Baby Einstein DVD. But have you ever watched any of this? It may be making my child smarter (so they claim), but I think it is having a reverse effect on me. There are some programs that make watching paint dry look like an epic! I think SpongeBob falls more into the creative side and I can tell you, both my Daughter and I are both satisfied at the end of one of his episodes! (Only just wanting more of course!)

Of course that is the other part that makes SpongeBob more than just a show to me. The connection my Daughter and I have with it. We both laugh and giggle, point and smile. It is that connection that we get to share that I cherish and makes the SpongeBob show so important to me. Its “our” show.

So I am a grown man and I will happily admit that I love SpongeBob Squarepants! Do YOU?

I just noticed something very scary – and completely coincidence. Look at my new header above. Isn’t it funny how I threw on all the technical items to the left and all the fun items to the right? I just happened to notice this and when I made the connection, I got a good laugh from it.

I know it only happened because I pretty much went in the order of things I am most likely to talk about. Starting with PHP items and than finishing off with Nonsense. I guess I thought from the left brain to the right

INFO: Just in case you could not make the items out in my thought cloud, they are:
from [left to right | logical to fun]
php logo, mysql logo, zce logo, computer with ubuntu logo and windows logo, wordpress logo, firefox logo, spongebob, film roll, tv, bowling ball, & finally a nintendo wii